You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
