college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He better not be in your backpack
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
