you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
