I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
