Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Your dad touched me again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Michael Bay diarrhea
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
