3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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