meet me or not, i'm out of control
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
