At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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