My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
