He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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