Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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