Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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