everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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