wanna go halves on a baby?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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