I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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