I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
