i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
