used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize