You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
