Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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