it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
