Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
