I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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