Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize