I want you more than these girls want KFC
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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