sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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