I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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