I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
