It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
