Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
