Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
