I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
