Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
