You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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