I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize