batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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