you guys were way drunker than both of me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
