at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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