Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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