The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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