Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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