BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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