screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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