I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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