as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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