I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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