i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize