Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't put those talents on a resume
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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