if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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