I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
