You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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