You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
