I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
