They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
