You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize