sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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