I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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