He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
