he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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