Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
