people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
