I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
