I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize