Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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