I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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