so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
