you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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