She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
