she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
